Diagnosed with autism as an adult, David James ruminates on the effect this illuminating revelation has had on his life, deciding, on the whole, that the positives can far outweigh the negatives. 

Unlayering the habits that encompass days, weeks, months, and years isn’t easy. Receiving a late diagnosis of autism as an adult has brought not only adjustments but also clarity, especially as my journey with autism is intertwined with social anxiety, making larger social settings quite overwhelming.

Though often perceived as conversational, my younger years tell a different story. I have, perhaps subconsciously, ‘masked’ to align with societal norms until now. Rather than avoiding social interactions, I’ve learned it’s more beneficial to engage proactively: joining groups, taking up new hobbies, or enrolling in courses, allowing relationships to develop naturally.

However, these efforts are often laced with immense doubt. Doubt that it’s all really a façade to show my family and friends that I am trying; doubt that I can actually go through with turning up and saying hello to a complete stranger; doubt that I won’t ultimately fail. It’s also true to say that the aftermath of my attempts at trying new things often results in a period of burnout. I feel exhausted after social interactions, necessitating periods of solitude to recover from the mental and emotional exertion.

Autism is a part of my identity but does not define my entirety. The real danger lies in viewing an autism diagnosis as an anchor, limiting my journeys to new destinations, or as a convenient excuse to avoid challenging situations – a get-out card, so to speak. The flipside is feeling empowered to go deeper into the things that make me tick and exploring my interests, which are quite narrow but deep.

Many people can easily discuss and engage in a wide range of topics while in a group setting. They can meet people and talk with them about their job, their interests or their relationships, even if the topics don’t fully align with their interests. For others, like myself, this can be a challenge.

I’ve come to realise that it takes me much more effort and energy to stay engaged – to stay out of my own mind – during social interactions. Having thrown myself into various civil service jobs requiring such interactions on a daily basis, I now see my late diagnosis as both a challenge and a blessing; I perhaps wouldn’t have felt the pressure to do this if I had the autism diagnosis as a child or a teenager. At the time, however, it felt like being a leopard amongst tigers: you try to blend in and adapt, but the fast-paced environment can be overwhelming for a neurodivergent person.

I do have a tendency to be more confident and comfortable talking about topics I’m passionate about. In that sense, football isn’t only a pastime but a vital part of my mental health toolkit. It allows me to engage deeply with something I love, providing comfort, escape, and a sense of accomplishment. I’ve built up detailed knowledge from match statistics to player performance, and not just on one team but across leagues – even the non-league teams. My friends have joked that I will soon be headhunted by Sky Sports News…

Not all individuals with autism will identify a ‘special’ interest: some might prefer to refer to it as a specific interest, if indeed they have a deep interest at all. Getting an autism diagnosis can be an epiphany: a moment of self-discovery and acceptance, presenting a path to happiness and a way to truly be yourself.

As we mark Mental Health Awareness Month, and with Mind launching the #NoMindLeftBehind campaign, it’s crucial to confront the gaps in our mental health care system. Accessing counselling through a GP can be frustratingly slow, and places like Cardiff Mind’s fully booked art group show the urgent need for more support. These services should not just be a government afterthought but a priority, ensuring everyone has the support they need to not just survive, but to thrive.

Let’s use Mental Health Awareness Month as a platform to demand the changes we desperately need. Support the #NoMindLeftBehind campaign, advocate for better funding for mental health services, and join with me in pushing for a society where no mind is left behind.

words DAVID JAMES