I vividly remember going to see Star Wars Episode II: Attack of The Clones at the cinema. My Uncle took me and my younger brother to the Bridgend Odeon, when the screens actually seemed big, and before we went to see the film, my younger brother started crying when he saw that the forthcoming Spider-Man was actually going to have a twelve rating.
He, like many people his age, would not get the chance to see Sam Raimi’s highly anticipated superhero film on the big screen. He was devastated. As we led him into the theatre, tears down his eyes, I could only hope that Attack of The Clones would cheer him up. It did, and, if I’m honest, I even remember coming out of the cinema feeling pretty happy with the film too.
In truth, even today, there’s still a lot to like about Episode II. For starters, there’s less Jar Jar Binks – a sure sign that George Lucas does listen to the fans – but mainly, it’s the action sequences throughout this instalment that make it a lot more enjoyable than its predecessor.
You have the high-speed chase above and on the streets of Coruscant, which is immediately better than anything we saw in The Phantom Menace. There’s a set piece which sees Obi Wan Kenobi take on bounty hunter Jango Fett; an entertaining scene which takes place on the conveyor belt of a huge droid factory, and, better than anything else, we finally get to see Yoda kick some serious Sith-arse.
It’s in these moments that Attack of The Clones flourishes; however, what drags the film down exponentially is the romantic relationship at the centre of the film. Or, rather, the teen-type angst that runs throughout, which takes what should be an epic space opera, and turns it into more of a soap opera.
I say this as someone who loves a good romance. I don’t hate the softer elements to Attack of The Clones because it detracts from the big battles and lightsaber duels. I hate these moments because the central relationship between Anakin Skywalker and Senator Padmé Amidala is so poorly written, to the point of unbelievability.
The main reason their love story doesn’t work is the exact same reason that the prequels generally fail across the board. In allowing himself three episodes to get to A New Hope, Lucas allowed himself very little time to tell the story of the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker, with even more time squandered during the abysmal Episode I.
Here, he has two and a half hours to develop a sweeping love story of epic proportions, but his attempts, largely, fall flat. You just get the sense that he didn’t have enough time to fully develop this essential part of the prequel’s narrative. It feels rushed, one dimensional and, more often than not, genuinely creepy.
Things are awkward from the off – and not in a cutesy, clumsy, rom-com way – when Anakin pays Padmé a compliment which is returned with an “Oh Annie, you’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine” – a sure sign that this Padawan has been regulated to the friend zone.
But our trainee-Jedi doesn’t give up easily. Oh no. He’s obsessed over her for ten years; a fact that he gladly brings up to Padmé all the time. The creepy glances, the cheeky touches of her arm and the general groaning about how he can’t live without his former princess, makes for uncomfortable watching – even more so due to the lack of chemistry between the two leads.
Bizarrely, it isn’t until Anakin confesses to mass-murdering a load of Tusken Raiders – men, women and children – that Padmé really starts to show him some emotion. I suppose she must like a ‘bad boy’. Perhaps if it weren’t for how Han Solo and Princess Leia’s perfect and simple development, I’d be less judgmental.
Admittedly, some of the romance segments are made a little bearable by the gorgeous locales of Italy and Spain, but other than the stunning scenery, they take a lot away from Obi Wan Kenobi’s superior storyline.
Due largely to Ewan McGregor’s wonderful turn as the master-Jedi – this time around, he really gets to channel Alec Guinness – you can’t help but want to spend your whole time with the character. When we’re with Obi Wan, we’re having fun. In fact, it’s a shame that there isn’t a super-cut of Attack of The Clones, focusing solely on Kenobi’s journey – especially when you consider Lucas’ relentless rejigging of the franchise.
Whilst Attack of The Clones is a considerable improvement over its predecessor, it’s a lot more frustrating to watch, because Lucas comes so close to getting it right. It’s still not fantastic by any means, but there’s a lot within it, especially in its last thirty minutes, which is easy to enjoy.
To a degree, I still stand by my younger self when it comes to Star Wars Episode II: Attack of The Clones. It isn’t awful, but it could have been a lot better were it not for all the teen-angst about love and sand.
You can read Joe Richards previous articles on the Star Wars franchise here.