THE SMOKE HAUS | FOOD REVIEW
Mary Ann Street, Cardiff. 029 2022 0777 / www.thesmokehaus.co.uk
The spate of Americanised glutton houses springing up in Cardiff shows no sign of slowing down for the moment. The Smoke Haus is the latest, a Swansea branch having launched two years back and proved successful. In the dim and distant past (2010) a Hooters opened in this building, eventually perishing of indifference. While this new tenant doesn’t rely on sexism to rope in punters, it may be that it ends up appealing to a similar demographic.
It’s very big and bright in here, with drivetime radio hits on the PA and NASCAR on TVs above the bar. The framed photos of noted cultural icons are a particular treat, my three favourites being the Stay Puft marshmallow man, a squirrel that looks like John Travolta and Morrissey. A basket of deep-fried mozzarella sticks feels like a suitable response to this sensory chaos. My pal and I share these, partly out of anticipatory concern for the size of the main meals.
Some other friends, having visited the previous week, were broadly positive but deemed the portions unnecessarily huge. Burgers are 8oz apiece and someone on the next table has ordered two, served between two doughnuts – yep, a la the possibly apocryphal Luther Vandross story. My New Orleans burger is in a boring old bun and includes two large pieces of brisket. This doesn’t come apart when you take a bite, making it a poor burger ingredient consistency-wise, but the patty is very good, as are sweet potato fries on the side. A Philly cheesesteak gets thumbs up across the table – “hard to get wrong,” supposedly, although I bet Philadelphians get enraged by the mildest transgressions. Desserts would have taken things into the realm of the eating challenge, but all that plus two Flying Dog beers and a Sierra Nevada Porter comes to just over £40.
words NOEL GARDNER
