Newport lad Connor Allen got bitten by the acting bug at university, laying the path to becoming Children’s Laureate Of Wales last year. Now, about to unleash a beast of an autobiographical grime/theatre mashup onto the WMC, The Making Of A Monster, he tells Ewa Pałka about his unconventional journey.  

How did you come up with the idea for The Making Of A Monster?

Connor Allen: I got invited back to my old high school in Newport to speak at an award ceremony. I just spoke to the kids and was really honest about my journey: what had led me to be where I was at that moment. And a lot of the teachers, some of the parents and the students, they resonated, saying, “you need to tell your story to other young people. You need to go into prisons and talk to young offenders.”

I got some money to go and do that, so I went into prison. In Bridgend, I did a little project with the young offenders there. And on the first day, I got so overwhelmed that I went back to my car, cried my eyes out for 40 minutes, and wrote down a load of thoughts about how I was feeling. And that turned into my first blog: I am enough – The impact of absent fathers. And once I released that blog, so many people were messaging: “thank you for your words; it just really made me evaluate my relationship with my daughter”.

I was like, “This is crazy. This is not for you!” And then I started to understand that it is a universal story from many angles and perspectives. So after the blog dropped, I did a whole series of blogs. 

After that, I started thinking – well, what if I wanted to tell this story? How am I going to tell it? At the same time, I had a big idea about taking the energy and the culture that is grime music – I grew up with grime, and I love grime, rap and hip-hop. So how do I take that energy, and mix it with theatre in a way that’s interesting and has not been done before? Not in a way that Hamilton does.

Then, coupled with that, I watched Misty, a play by Arinze Kene, in London and had a lightbulb moment that seemed silly: why don’t I call the character Connor? It’s my story; it’s me. I invited people I trust to come and read the script, and they loved it.

How did you feel when you finished the play? 

Connor Allen: For me, it’s just part of my journey, part of the story. But it’s interesting when I see the audience’s reactions. They feel sorry for me, and they feel sorry for my mom. They empathize a lot. My mom and I are like best friends now.

Initially, when I first wrote it, it was a release. There’s a big story, but many sub-stories. There are many different characters, many different scenes. It’s pretty therapeutic.

It’s helping other people as well.

Connor Allen: The Making Of A Monster is a universal story because it’s questioning where we fit in. As a mixed-race kid growing up in Newport, being very light-skinned and with an absent father, I felt different – outside. Growing up, I was always too white for my black friends but too black for my white friends. I just fit it in this little cloud of grey, and I didn’t understand that at the time. That confusion caused me to go down a very destructive path.

You don’t have to be mixed-race, you don’t have to have an absent father, you don’t have to be 6’2”; you can watch …Monster, and there’ll be aspects that you will resonate with. I think that’s why theatre is a brilliant medium because it’s subjective. You can come and watch the same show, but you’ll take different things away from that.

Is there any other project you have in mind for the future? 

Connor Allen: I’m currently on commission with National Theatre Wales; I’m the Children’s Laureate of Wales, so I have my laureate duties. I’ve still got another year left of that.

Sounds busy. Do you have any advice for young actors and writers? 

Connor Allen: If I could give my younger self one bit of advice, it would be to manage your time better. We always think we need to be constantly working, and we don’t. Advice for young actors and writers, I believe, is to lean into themselves and their individuality. Because no one on earth comes like you, no one can act like you. How many Hamlets we have seen over the years? Shakespeare is performed worldwide, but you’re going to watch Hamlet. You’ll see different iterations of the same character, because of what that actor brings into them and their life experience at a table.

I think it’s tough nowadays because you have social media; it’s hard at times to not compare yourself to others because everyone is bragging about how much money they make, how much they succeed, what they do, and how they live their best lives. Your best life comes from just doing what you want to do that makes you happy. If you get up in the morning, make a cup of tea, and go for a walk with a dog, and that’s what makes you happy, then you succeeded in life, you know? That’s true. 

The Making Of A Monster is not something you are used to in the theatre. 

Connor Allen: I’m happy about that. I’m excited, to be fair, to have audiences watch and experience because I feel like it’s an experience. Once they do, hopefully, they go away feeling nourished and they go away feeling like they’re not alone in the world.

Many people have that feeling of “I’m not worthy enough” and all those insecurities. You feel like you’re the only person in the world feeling that. I think theatre can be a vessel for you to have that mode of reflection and allow it to resonate in a way that you can see yourself. 

Connor Allen’s The Making Of A Monster, Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay, Wed 9-Sat 19 Nov.

Tickets: £15. Info: here

words EWA PAŁKA