If you go down to the woods today – Colby Woodland Gardens, near Amroth on the Pembrokeshire coast, to be precise – you’re sure of a big surprise. Despite their custodianship by the National Trust, the Gardens don’t have a conventional National Trust café. Rather than finding themselves on the latest and arguably most ridiculous frontline of the culture wars, caught in the crossfire about “woke scones”, visitors are instead treated to tea and cake courtesy of the independent Bothy Tearoom.
Familiar buzzphrases are present and correct – “family business”, “seasonal and sustainable local produce” – but the proof, as ever, is in the pudding. Let’s start with the light-ish lunch that precedes it, though.
My eye is immediately drawn to the daily specials board, momentarily waylaid by the pea and mint falafel wrap before finally alighting on the roast lamb sandwich. The reality surpasses the already considerable promise – great hunks of meat served with mint sauce on a sumptuous bed of stuffing in a sizeable and impressively stout rustic roll that’s comfortably up to the task of containment. If I have a better butty this year, I’ll be astonished.
The same robust bun is deployed for the excellent homemade Glamorgan sausage and mushroom sandwich, as well as for the vegan option stuffed with tomatoes, avocado and smoky beans. A curious combination, to be sure, but one that appears to work – albeit, I’m told, begging for a bit of Marmite to give a real hero flavour. (Any cranky Daily Mail-reading, GB News-viewing traditionalists appalled at such wokery should be distracted/pacified by the prospect of having their comestibles served in/on fine china, at least.)
And then there are the sweet treats for afters: traybakes, doughnuts, an alluring array of old-school sponges including Victoria, lemon and lavender. I plump for a Biscoff doughnut that’s practically a meal in itself and provides such a sugar rush that I feel as though I could march the length of the Wales Coast Path, let alone muster the short jaunt along the beach at low tide back to our digs in Wiseman’s Bridge. The dearth of vegan delicacies disappoints some of our party; in the Tearoom’s defence, it’s Easter Monday at the end of a phenomenally busy long weekend, but this is, I gather, a depressingly common occurrence at cafes nationwide.
Despite being swamped at times, the staff remain courteous and efficient throughout. Ensuring that the adults in our party are sufficiently caffeinated to cope with a muddy, feral pack of kids all day is an invaluable service, believe me.
Bothy Tearoom, Colby Woodland Gardens, Amroth.
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words and photos BEN WOOLHEAD
