Luke Owain Boult speaks with Father Christmas about his thoughts on 2016, the impact it’s had on Christmas, and why we should be excited for the future.
How’s 2016 been for you?
It’s been swings and roundabouts really. Like most magical beings, I’ve been shocked by the year’s events. We’ve lost a lot of good people this year, and the world seems to be getting naughtier and naughtier. But there’s positives. You just have to squint fairly hard to see them. Sure, the world seems to have gone to pot, but there’s a lot to be happy about too! Yes, Brexit makes importing overseas toys more expensive and less economically viable for our toy workshops based in the U.K., but we’re determined in the North Pole not to let it spoil Christmas for the kiddies. Who needs fancy and expensive American, Chinese, European and Japanese imports anyway. Sinclair ZX81s for everyone!
Are you an optimist?
Yes, massively so! Some are worried about the Human Rights Act being scrapped, but personally I think the focus is on the wrong group. I think we should repeal the Elf Rights Act for a cheaper Christmas. I want to make Christmas great again. There are concerns over the Snoopers Charter as well. Some are scared of the government storing all citizens’ personal phone records and internet data without a warrant, but think of it like this: it gives Mrs May the same power as I have to find out who’s been naughty, and who’s been nice.
How can you possibly function with all that whiskey in your system? Don’t you think it’s irresponsible to drive a sleigh afterwards?
I’m somewhat of a heavyweight anyway, but in part it’s a hangover (pardon the pun) from my student days. Back then, fire hadn’t been invented see, so to stop our blood from freezing in the magical frozen wastelands of the University of the North Pole, we’d drink constantly. Even though now fire has been discovered, after thousands of years of drinking, it’d be dangerous for me at this point to stop. I’ve tried before, and I tend to get to get… cranky. So Christmas presents are generally worse on the years I cut down on my drinking. Funnily enough, these years coincide with global recessions. Is it irresponsible? Yes, but so is most Christmassy behaviour.